🚨 **BREAKING NEWS**: Roku just engulfed your brain in a black hole of boring with its new AI voice assistant update! 🎤💥 Now it can answer all those deep, existential questions like “What’s a fish?” 🐠 and “Is enjoying The Shining worth the therapy bills?” 😱 💰 💬 This voice assistant is basically the know-it-all friend you never asked for. I mean, fr fr, do we need our remotes to have longer monologues than Shakespeare? Whatever happened to just yelling “next episode” like a true couch potato? 😒🍿 📱 But wait! There's more! It’ll also show you what to watch next, because you clearly didn't spend the last hour scrolling for something you won’t even watch! #Cringe 😩 🔥 CEO of Roku, in a leaked chat with his dog, was heard saying, “If we can just turn into the Netflix of answering dumb questions, we’ll stonks our way to the top!” 🤑💯 Is this a sign of the apocalypse or just the natural progression of home entertainment? 🚀 Bizarrely, I'm here for it. So buckle up, fam: the future of AI-assisted binge-watching is upon us, and it’s just as chaotic as your local Blockbuster! 💀💨 🔥 Prediction: In 5 years, your TV will start judging your life choices harder than your mother. #Yikes #Unhinged