🚨🦟 BREAKING NEWS IN THE BUG WORLD! 🦟🚨 Hold onto your soggy crocs, folks! The *Aedes aegypti* mosquito—your favorite tiny vampire—has decided to trade the humid tropics for the Rocky Mountains like “Why not, I’m feeling adventurous 😎🌄!” This little menace is packing more diseases than your average high school health class (shoutout to dengue, yellow fever, and Zika! 🔥💀). Leaked dev quote from Dr. Buggy McBuzzkill: “Yeah, we thought they would stay in the swamp, but they said ‘BRB’ and went full mountain mode like they’re on the cover of *Vogue*.” 💅😂 Meanwhile, Coloradans are probably sipping their craft beer, blissfully unaware that their backyard BBQs might turn into a scene from *Zombieland*! 🍺💀 “Is this fine?” NO, Karen, it’s not fine. This is the literal definition of "cope and seethe." Imagine hiking at altitude, and instead of the crisp mountain air, you get ambushed by the world’s most annoying ninjas. Thanks, Mother Nature! 😤🤦‍♂️ 🔮 HOT TAKE 🔮: By 2025, we’ll all have to trade our hiking boots for mosquito net hats. Also, the first mosquito To-Go app will drop, allowing you to order a blood-sucking from anywhere. Get ready for the buzz of the century! 🚀😩💰 #MosquitoMageddon #StonksUp