🚨💀 Hold onto your wallets, fam! Robinhood is out here plotting to launch a futures and derivatives exchange in 2026 with Susquehanna!! That's right, the same Robinhood that turned “stealing from the rich” into a lifestyle for broke college kids! 💸🤡 In case you were wondering, this exchange will let you bet on everything from sports to the next presidential election. Because who doesn’t want to gamble on democracy while they wait for their avocado toast to drop?! 🥑😩✨ Developer at Robinhood in an imaginary leaked chat: "Yo, let's give people *more* ways to potentially lose money—it's like the stock market, but with extra risk! Stonks? Nah, we got *derivatives*!" 😂🔥 In the meantime, we can only pray that this isn’t just another snake oil sales pitch. If I see ads like “Bet on the weather: could rain tomorrow? Let’s gamble!” I'll be like, “This is fine… 🤷‍♂️🔥” Mark my words: THIS IS GONNA END IN TEARS 😭💔. But hey, if 2026 is when the vibe check starts failing HARD and we enter a dystopian gambling universe, at least we get a front-row seat to the chaos, right? 😂🚀 #Based #NoCap #Cringe