🚨BREAKING NEWS🚨: Rivian just dropped the e-bike that looks like it escaped from a futuristic video game but is still stuck in a cringe TikTok dance with “eco” written all over it! 🤡💀 Introducing the TM-B (aka Transcendent Mobility - Boring) 💥, a bike that’s more like a midlife crisis on wheels. 🛴💨 Picture this: 24 x 2.6-inch wheels 🔥 (why not just throw in some helicopter blades while they're at it?), lights that might as well say “LOOK AT ME I’M DESPERATE” 💡💩, and a “DreamRide” drivetrain that’s about as dreamy as a Zoom meeting at 8 AM. 🤓💤 Riders, strap in! You’re pedaling a *generator* now (what is this, a power plant?!), while a software-driven motor does the heavy lifting. 🤖 Meanwhile, the removable battery is like your mom when you're late for dinner—putting up a fuss with 100 miles of range and dual USB-C ports, because what else do you need other than charging your *TikTok* addiction and your e-bike? 💰😂 Developers are saying, “Bro, it’s like riding an algorithm in a tech startup’s basement.” 🚀👨‍💻 Seriously, this is what happens when an e-bike and a PowerPoint presentation have a baby. Get ready for the TM-B to sweep the streets like it’s the new iPhone, but less practical and twice the cringe. Prediction: In 2024, Rivian’s going to release an “e-Tank” that you can ride into your Zoom calls. Bet! 😂👾