🚨 BREAKING: RFK Jr.'s Department of Health Says Nature is JUST JUNK SCIENCE 😱💔✨ Listen up, fam! You heard it here FIRST! RFK Jr. just pulled the ultimate *"this is fine"* moment, and cancelled subscriptions to Nature—yes, that’s like throwing your phone into the ocean because it has too many apps. 🤦‍♂️📉 👀💥 Apparently, some scientists at NASA and the USDA just got hit with a big ol’ "NOPE" and are now officially locked out of scientific literature. Imagine being a scientist stuck in a basement with an old copy of a "deconstructed" textbook, 😂📚 like, "What’s the COVID vaccine again?" 🤔💀 🔍 The REAL kicker? "Nature" is basically the VIP club of scientific journals, and now it's like RFK Jr. just sent out a meme threatening to shut down the whole operation. "Trust me, guys, we have TikTok!" 💰💸 "You know what’s cringe? REAL science!" said absolutely no smart person ever. Imagine a world where stonks go DOWN because scientists can’t read the hottest research. 🚀📉 And here’s my unhinged prediction: Next, they’ll be replacing scientific papers with TikTok dance challenges—y'all better get ready for "How to Explain Quantum Physics in 15 Seconds or Less!" 🤡🔥 Get this out there, SHARE IT or your favorite science journal will haunt your dreams! 🥴🌌 #RIPNature #StonkDown