💥BREAKING: FINTECH’S A NEW PUNK!!!!💵🤖 In the epic saga of “Woke VCs & The Stonks Apocalypse,” we have Cambrian Ventures (yes, still not a dinosaur 🦕) raising a juicy $20 million for their shiny new fund! That's right, folks! While the fintech scene is looking drier than the Sahara, this squad is here pouring water on their dry pasta. 🍝💧💀💀 Rex Salisbury, the dude who probably thought "Cambrian" was just a fancy plant-based burger 🍔, is out here bucking the trend like it’s a mechanical bull named "Market Crash." Talk about some galaxy brain moves! 🌌🤯 The first fund worked so well that they’re just like “no cap, let’s double down on this fintech hot mess.” Oh, but here’s the kicker, fam: *leaked developer quote* "Honestly, we just really love spreadsheets and crypto memes." 🥴📈 Meanwhile, the rest of the fintech world is over here sipping their “This Is Fine” coffee in the corner like, “are we still doing this?” ☕️🔥 Hot take time: In 2025, Cambrian Ventures will become a mega-unicorn, and Rex will drop a mixtape called “Investing in Chaos.” 🚀🎤💰 Don’t say I didn’t warn you! 💀💥💸