🚨BREAKING: Researchers Discover Epic Way to CRUSH Crypto-Miners 🚨💰🤖 You ever just sit there and think, “Man, what if we could literally just tell these cringe crypto miners to stop mining my brain cells?” 🤯💀 Well, buckle up kiddos, because Akamai just dropped a banger report that’s about to turn the crypto cringe fest *upside down*! 🔄🔥 They’ve concocted TWO mind-blowing ways to slam dunk on those mining botnets using “bad shares” and something called “XMRogue.” Like, do they just take a page out of the *this is fine* meme playbook? 🐶💩 “Oh look, my GPU is on fire, but let’s just keep mining!” 🤡🚀 Imagine a dev yelling into the void: “1st method: We’re basically like anti-capitalist Robin Hoods, stealing from the rich (aka botnets) to give back the bandwidth to the common folk!” 😂🔥 Wait tho, wth are “mining topologies”?? Sounds like the vibe check is failing. But fr fr, if you can shut down botnets like the ultimate boss, we’re living in a sci-fi movie where rainbows and unicorns come to save our GPUs! 🌈🦄 Hot take alert: soon we’ll see crypto miners just giving up and launching a *new* coin called “Stonks to the Moon” (spoiler: they crash immediately) 🚀📉! Who’s in? 💸🥳