💸🔥 BREAKING: ReOrbit *NOT* just a cute Finnish startup with a bunch of snowball satellites but they just raised €45 MILLION 💰 to throw down on Musk’s Starlink like he's that sad kid in dodgeball who's about to get wrecked. 🚀💥 So, what are they serving the 21st-century space spaghetti? "Sovereign satellites," they say. 🤔👽 You mean, like, the kind that actually respects our privacy without tracking us like we’re all in *The Hunger Games*? 🕵️‍♂️ *Based.* Leaked dev quote: "We’re not just competing with Starlink — we're here to dominate like we're Mario and this is a 90s Nintendo brawl." 🍄💪 And while we’re at it, can we please roast Elon for being out here trying to connect the whole planet while drinking Red Bull and tweeting about doge? Like bro, we get it. Meanwhile, ReOrbit's vision for a *balanced space internet* is giving me galaxy brain vibes. 🤯🤔 In conclusion, prepare for the ultimate showdown! 🚀💥 I predict Musk secretly buys ReOrbit and names it "Starlink Finland," then splashes space memes across TikTok. No cap, watch those stonks fly! 📈🎉