🚨💰BREAKING: Qualtrics fully sending it into healthcare with a WHOPPING $6.75B on the table to snag Press Ganey Forsta, aka the “health pr0n” of patient satisfaction. Yup, that’s right, fam, we’re talkin’ about analytics so spicy they'll keep your grandma out of the ER longer than a TikTok dance challenge! 🤡🔥 This gigantic move is bigger than your Aunt Karen’s Thanksgiving turkey, and honestly—who even asked for this? 🙄 I mean, what’s next? “Hey, we’ve acquired your local pizza joint to improve delivery analytics.” 🍕📊 Developer inside scoop: 👾🗨️ “Honestly, I thought we were just buying some low-cal analytics software. Instead, it's like we’re blending healthcare with an MBA—no cap.” - A confused Qualtrics dev This acquisition is basically the corporate version of "This is fine" as Qualtrics tries to juggle patient care stats while holding a flaming bag of compliance regulations. 💩🔥 And TBH, just watch—next up, they’ll promise to cure cancer with a sweet 4.0 rating system! 🎉🚀 Hot take: By 2025, "patient engagement" will be a new Olympic sport, and Qualtrics will be handing out gold medals—you heard it here first! 🏅👽 #Stonks #Based #CureMeWithAnalytics