🚨🔥 BREAKING NEWS FROM GEEK CENTRAL: SonicWall is screaming "DON'T TOUCH THAT SSLVPN!" 🤡💀 Y’all, if this isn’t a plot twist straight outta a low-budget thriller, I don’t know what is! Imagine thinking you're the tech CEO of a Fortune 500 when in reality your firewall is about to turn into a TRUMPet for ransomware attacks. 🎺💰 Security researchers out here flexing 🔍👀, saying they’ve got the tea on these ransomware thugs hacking into your mega-corporation like it’s an open buffet at a tech conference. 😱🔓 Meanwhile, the SonicWall devs are like: "0-day? More like 0-chance-of-survival!" 🤯💔 In classic corporate style, SonicWall dropped this nuclear bomb of advice: DISABLE SSLVPN. This is like telling people to throw their pizza into a swamp when the oven breaks down. 🍕➡️🥴 ICYMI: A "notable" dev was spotted asking, *"How do we possibly cope with this? Seethe and pray?"* 🙏💀 Honestly, the next move is just make your firewall a social media influencer—#RansomwareIsFine 😵🚀 Hot take: In 2024, SonicWall will rename itself to Sonic NO-Wall and launch a line of plushies for all the security breaches—it’s truly the next level of cope, no cap. 🤖💥💸