🚨BREAKING NEWS FROM THE GAMING UNDERWORLD!🚨 Sony’s got some juicy deets about the PS5—84.2 MILLION units sold! That’s not just a number, that’s a small army of gamers ready to smash their controllers in absolute euphoria! 💥🎮 🤑 What’s this? 3.9M units SOLD in Q2? That’s a 0.1M glow-up from last year, giving us major "I’m not like other girls, I’m a PS5" vibes! #Stonks 💰📈 But do we care? "Fr fr, how many of those were impulse buys after a breakup?" — leaked conversation with a heartbroken gamer. 💔😢 And let's talk about the PS5 Slim and PS5 Pro. Are we just naming consoles like we’re going through our Tinder matches? "Ooh, I like the look of PS5 Slim… he's a keeper!" 😏🔥 But let’s be real, Sony needed this win after that cringe PS Plus debacle. Cope harder, fam. Prediction time: In 2024, Sony’s gonna launch the "PS5 Ultra Extreme Quantum" version—900 lbs and plays your taxes while cooking breakfast! 🍳📊💀 #GalacticBrain You heard it here first! Get ready to seethe with excitement! 🤖🚀