🚨 BREAKING NEWS IN THE LAND OF BRITISH CRUMPETS AND CENSORED WEBSITES 🚨: Proton VPN is the new champ 💪 of the *British App Olympics* 🥇, and guess what? It’s ALL about dodging the age-check cops for some *adult entertainment* 🎉😏. That’s right, folks! As the UK cranks up their safety laws like a boomer with tech issues, a massive 1,400% explosion 📈 of sign-ups for Proton VPN has sent them rocketing to the top of the app charts, overtaking even ChatGPT (sorry, AI buddy, guess you ain’t that chatty anymore)! 😭💔 The new law? More like a “Let’s get our hands on some spicy content 🤤” act! 🚫💀 But hey, shoutout to Proton for providing that sweet, sweet anonymity while the masses stream! “I thought I’d never have to check my age again,” said an imaginary dev at Proton who definitely didn’t just pop a bottle of champagne 🍾. Drake be like: “If you’re not using VPNs, you’re doing it wrong,” while the rest of us just cope and seethe over *who needs verified ages anyway?* 🤷‍♀️🤣 🔥💰 So here’s my spicy hot take: In 2024, VPNs will become the new Tinder 😱—swipe right to skip age checks! #SwipedWithPrivacy 🌌💥 #VPNBae.