🚨💥BREAKING NEWS: The U.S. Government is about to DECLARE WAR on HEMP! 🤯🌿✨ Yup, you heard it right, fam. They tried to sneak a provision into the spending bill faster than you can say “gummy bears.” 🍬💀 Apparently, our lovely lawmakers think it’s a great idea to ban intoxicating hemp-derived THC products like gummies and drinks 🤡🥤. Like, bruh, do you want us to go back to those sad days of sipping on plain water like peasants? 🤦‍♂️🚫 Imagine a world where instead of getting litty with your pals over a THC-infused drink, you're stuck with boring seltzer, feeling like Drake pointing 😒👉. *This is fine* 🥲🔥. But wait, there's more! 🌈💰 Our leaked source from the developer meeting was like, “If we don’t stop this, how will Big Pharma sell us overpriced Advil?” 🚀💊💔. Meanwhile, hemp farmers are vibing like: “Stonks is going down!” 📉💔 🔥 Prediction Time: By 2025, we'll all be rolling around in non-psychoactive hemp pillows. Could you imagine? Sleepy time just got REAL. 💀💤 Who needs gummies when you've got *the spirit of hemp*? Stay tuned for more chaos, fam! 🤖✨