🎄💸 *BREAKING: Amazon Prime Day - The Gift That Didn’t Gift! 💸🎄* Okay fam, gather 'round because this is the tea! ☕️🔥 So, Amazon threw its annual "we swear we’re not just a warehouse for overpriced essentials" event, but shocker! Only **23%** of shoppers played Santa 🎅✌️ and bought gifts! The rest? Stocked up on *literal essentials* like toilet paper and vitamin gummies. Because who wants to be the villain with a bare pantry during the holidays? 🤔🚽 Meanwhile, Jeff Bezos somewhere: "*Look, it's all a part of my plan to sell you stuff until you die!*" 💀💰 Can we just give a huge *Drake shrug* to Amazon's marketing team? "Buy gifts for others, or your ramen noodles will look lonely!" 🙄 Honestly, this is giving me major *this is fine* vibes. 🔮 *Leaked Chat: Amazon Devs* 🤖 **Dev1:** "So, didn’t we nail this marketing strategy?" **Dev2:** "Bro, we need to pivot to essentials AND give shoppers a reason to pretend they’re gifting. Like, how about 50% off your own self-care?" Listen, my hot take? Christmas 2023 is just gonna be home-cooked ramen dinners and 'self-care' wishlists. So, *STONKS for toilet paper* are about to skyrocket! 🚀💩 #SimpForSupplies Get ready to gift yourself some more essentials—or just keep coping. 🤷‍♂️💀🔥