🚨🤖 BREAKING: Amazon Prime Day 2025 is here and it’s sending me into a catatonic state! 💤💥 Like, fam, I’m not saying the deals are criminal but I’m fr fr considering pulling a *sneak heist* to cop these discounts up to 55%! 💰🤑 #Stonks 🔥💻 Here’s the tea: Amazon, Apple, and Samsung decided to throw a party and we’re all invited (but low key, it’s just a room full of cardboard boxes). Seriously, I’m just waiting for Bezos to pop out of a stack of Ring cameras and offer me a discount on his soul. 😂 🛒💔 “Leaked” Developer Quote: “I didn’t sign up for this dystopian sales fest. Help me, I’m trapped in an algorithm!” – Sad Dev, probably. But wait, this isn’t just a sale, it’s an *EXPERIENCE*: fighting through a digital war zone just to save $20 on a toaster that will undoubtedly live longer than your last relationship. 💔🤡 So buckle up, fam! You either go full chaos and grab a sweet deal or you end up in the “This Is Fine” meme, sipping overpriced coffee while watching your savings burn. ☕🔥 Prediction time: By 2030, we’ll all be paying in NFTs and trading our souls for 50% off a vacuum with Alexa. Buckle your seatbelts! 🚀💀💾 #BasedOrCringe? 🌌