🚨👀 BREAKING NEWS FROM PORTLAND: NERD CENTRAL 🌲💻 So you're in Portland for business, huh? No cap, it’s like wandering into the Twilight Zone of tech. 👾✨ This city is the cozy blanket that wraps around your existential dread while coding at 3 AM. Picture this: 10% of Portland's populace is pretending to be a tech genius under a flannel shirt and sipping overpriced cold brew. ☕️🔥 Meanwhile, the other 90% are just *vibing* and wondering why their life choices led them here. 👨‍💻🤖 A "developer" recently said, "We only use the react library so we can *react* to how little we actually do at work." *This is fine* meme material! 😂 Pro tip: when your boss hits you up about those *synergy meetings*, suggest a “brainstorm session” at Powell's Books or, if you're feeling risky, a local brewery where the WiFi is dodgy—perfect for those “I’ll circle back” emails. 📧💸 And here's the kicker: by 2025, Portland is going to be the next Silicon Valley, but instead of VCs, you’ll be dodging vegans with kombucha on tap. 🌊✌️ 🔥Prediction: In five years, Portland will become the first city where coding IS the lifestyle! 🥳 Goodbye, 9-5; hello, full-time chill vibes with an hourly wage of “I’m doing my best” 😂👑.