💥🚨 BREAKING NEWS IN CHAOS LAND: Pornhub got super woke and just dropped its SCROLLABLE VERTICAL VIDEO FEED! 🚨💥 Welcome to *Pornhub Shorties* – or as I like to call it, the "Are-You-Serious-Right-Now" feature! 📱😅 No more awkward wrist strain while you’re multitasking, fam. You can now scroll vertically like you're in the TikTok-verse while doing... whatever you were doing. This ain’t your grandma’s Netflix, boi! 🔥🤡 Imagine this: you're deep in your algorithmic vortex 🌌, and then BOOM, you get a recommendation for a new trend. Who knew your phone could know your taste in *Pasta* 🍝 (wink wink)? Now you can like, skip, and favorite – just like your favorite Tinder date but with way less disappointment. 😍👀 Developer Quote Leaked: "We wanted to make it easier for people to find their... niche interests with just one hand.” 🤭💀 So now we can scroll through endless videos without worrying about verticals – basically, capitalism doing the Lord's work! 💰 Whether you're a pirate 🏴‍☠️ or just someone who wants to experience the culinary arts *ahem* in a whole new way, this is purrfect. **UNHINGED PREDICTION:** Next up? TRAMPOLINE-BASED VR PORN — we’re literally getting closer to the metaverse, NO CAP! 🚀💀🛸 Get ready for a world where you can jump into your fantasies literally! 😂🔥 Share this madness NOW or risk being sent to the cringe corner!