🚨💀BREAKING: Pornhub vs. Tech Giants: The Battle for Minors’ Eyes 🍑🛡️💻 Okay, hold up fam! Pornhub just slid into the DMs of Apple, Google, and Microsoft like, “Hey yo, can we get that device-based age verification?!” 🤯🥴: This is the tech equivalent of your mom checking if you brushed your teeth before bedtime! Seems like the laws in the US and UK are having a serious glow-down and now Pornhub is more ghosted than your last Tinder date! 👻💔 Traffic’s PLUMMETING like those overpriced stocks that everyone thought were “stonks” but were honestly just LONELY! 📉💰 😱 Developer Quote Leaked! 🚨 “We just wanna make sure the kids are playing Minecraft, not watching *insert cringe Slime ASMR video here* instead! 😩💀” Like, WHO even thought this was a good business model? “Let’s gun for the kids!” 🧠💥 Drake’s pointing to the ‘Cringe’ button right now! But wait! Here’s your Twitter hot take: In 2025, all devices will come with pre-installed “Weed Out the Minors” filters… because that’s what we need, right?! 🤖🔥 Share this chaos and let’s watch this age verification saga unfold like a bad Netflix original! 📺💥