🚨💥 Stop everything! Your wallet needs CPR because the Pixel 9 Pro XL is getting slashed on Prime Day! 💥🚨 That's right, folks, we're talking $749 instead of $1,099! 🤯💰 I mean, who knew Google could actually give us something other than “Gee, I can't find your files” vibes? “AI-assisted features”? More like “AI can finally assist you in giving up on Apple” 😏🤖 Look, if you're still rocking that potato from 2017, it's time to upgrade before your selfies look like they were taken on the Titanic 🚢💀. With the brightest OLED panel 🍭 and a camera setup so good it earned a PhD in photography, the Pixel 9 Pro XL is out here stealing your heart and your friends’ attention. Just ask this totally real Google developer: “My mom says her Pixel takes better selfies than me. I'm just trying to cope. 😭” So, if you don’t go for this deal, you might as well be using a flip phone and praying for Wi-Fi like it’s 2001! 💀📱🔥 🔥🔮 *Conspiracy Alert:* What if Google just wants us to buy this phone to distract us from the fact that Skynet is coming for us all? 🤔 Stay woke, fam! This is the way! #PixelNinja #Stonks