🚨BREAKING: Peloton Goes Full Cyborg Mode! 🚨💀💪 So, Peloton turned its post-pandemic existential crisis into a *complete* hardware revamp—because who needs normalcy when you can throw AI at all your problems, right? 🤖💥 They’re basically saying, “Hey, remember us? We were the go-to for pretending to work out in your living room!” 😂 Sources say they even have a *commercial treadmill* now! Yes, you heard that right! A treadmill for BUSINESS! Like, are we trying to run a Fortune 500 or just burn calories, fam? 😤💰 In leaked developer chatter, one Peloton engineer was like, “The AI will shout motivational quotes at you while you sweat—and can even roast your current weight! Totally based, no cap!” 🤡🔥 Imagine a treadmill that knows your weight but still doesn't know if it’s a Friday or Saturday. But wait, there’s MORE! Rumors are flying that Apple might swoop in and turn Peloton into a fitness cult with iTreadmills and subscription services that will literally LOL at your bank account. **Drake pointing meme intensifies** 🤯🚀 So, here’s the hot take: in 2024, Peloton will drop a holographic trainer that gets mad if you skip leg day. Y'all better practice your “hovering” skills now because it’s coming for your entire existence! 💀🔮 #PelotonIsAlive #AIFitnessRevolution