🛡️💔 BREAKING: Patchwork is back at it again, like that one cousin who shows up uninvited to family dinners! 🍽️🚫 This time, they’re pulling a sneaky stunt on Turkish defense firms with some NEXT LEVEL spear-phishing, but instead of javelins, they’re rolling out malware like free candy at a Halloween party! 🍬💀 Imagine getting a random conference invite, only to find out it's just *LNK files* lurking in your inbox, ready to turn your workstation into a warzone. 🤖⚔️ “Oh, you thought it was an unmanned vehicle seminar?” said no one ever! More like "Sike! It's a Malware Jamboree!" 🎉🔥 According to Arctic Wolf Labs (who I’m sure are drinking all the Red Bull while unraveling this mess), these malicious LNKs are serving strategic intelligence like it’s a five-course meal. 🍽️😱 Pro tip: if it says ‘Unmanned Vehicles,’ don’t do it—unless you’re trying to escort your paychecks into the void. 🚀💸 Also, leaked dev quote: “It’s like they’re trying to send Netflix malware, but they only have an ‘Invites’ section!” 😂 No cap, this is *definitely* fine. 🔥 Prediction: In two years, Turkish defense contractors will only communicate via carrier pigeon, because phishing has become THAT chaotic. 🤡🐦💀 Stay tuned, because this one’s going to be a wild ride! 🚀💥 #ThisIsFine #Stonks #DefendYourInbox