🔥💰*BREAKING NEWS: Paramount Goes Full Degen with UFC for a WHOPPING $7.7 BILLION* 💰🔥 Yo, fam! You ever see a corporate power move that looks like it came straight outta a meme? 🤡💀 Well, once again, the tech gods have blessed us with some pure chaos: Paramount just cashed in ALL THE STONKS to snatch U.S. rights to the UFC for 7 years! That’s right folks, they’re hurling $7.7 billion at Dana White like he’s Thanos and they just got the final Infinity Stone! 💎✨💪 🚀Starting in 2026, say goodbye to that cringe PPV model that’s been living rent-free in ESPN+ like it's an unwanted roommate 🏠. “What’s on pay-per-view these days? Vintage VHS tapes?!” said Mark Shapiro, probably while sipping on overpriced avocado toast. 🥑💸 So now instead of dropping your paycheck for fights, you can just sub to Paramount+ and pretend you’re not using your ex’s login. Speculation: *Netflix is already sweating bullets* 💦 because do you really wanna watch another true crime docu-series when you can witness someone get dropkicked into oblivion? 🔮*Hot take*: In 2026, the UFC will launch an NFT line of fighters’ punches that turns them into useable downloadable moves in a metaverse fighting game! #ParamountBucks #FrFr 😱💥 Share this chaos so your friends can either laugh or seethe! 🤖💥