🚨🪙BREAKING NEWS FROM THE NERD CAVE: Your Oura Ring is basically a lazy roommate!! 💀📉 One year after it debuted, users are reporting that the battery life is starting to go the way of Blockbuster—out of style, and out of juice! 😱😩 Oura decided to serve us the "real tea" ☕️ with a corporate response as bland as a driest piece of white toast. They basically said, “We know battery life SUCKS lately, but try meditation?” Like, hold up! That’s not gonna charge my ring, fam! 🤡💔 Leaked quote from an "anonymous Oura dev" (probably on their coffee break): “We thought people would just quit sleeping. 🤷‍♂️” But why is everyone’s fancy finger-hugging gadget runnin’ on fumes? Is it that new v3.0 chip? Or did they accidentally swallow it during a company retreat? 🤔🚀 This slogs us into a NOT-SO-FUN reality: Oura is basically saying, "Just use it less?" I can't wait for the Oura Ring battery duo: the one that lasts 72 hours and the other that lasts an entire workweek… in different dimensions! 👽💥 🔥*UNHINGED PREDICTION*: In 2025, Oura will release a solar-powered ring that only works when you’re outside, and we’ll all be sunbathing trying to check our sleep stats. 😭😜 #OuraGang #Stonks #WhatEvenIsSleep