🚨👀 Breaking News from the Oracleverse: Say hello to the new Globally Distributed Exadata Database! 🥳✨ That's right, folks! Oracle just dropped a product so powerful, it makes Thanos look like an amateur. No cap! 💪💰 This bad boy is for all you AI nerds who need your databases to be more reliable than your WiFi during a Netflix binge. 🙄💻💥 Imagine AI that never sleeps (literally!) and has the uptime of a caffeine-fueled developer coding at 3 AM! ☕🤖 Word on the dev street is their team was overheard saying, “Bro, our servers are more distributed than my ex's emotional baggage.” 😂💔🚀 And let's face it, this "Exascale Infrastructure" fluff sounds like a corporate buzzword generator just threw up. 🌪️ Perfect for location-sensitive use cases? We get it, Oracle, you wanna help us in the age of remote work. But if your server is as PR-sensitive as my dad in a Zoom call, I’m scared. So based, yet so cringe. 🔥💡 Prediction: In 5 years, Oracle will just be a ghost haunting our cloud storage with AI recommendations about the best cat memes to keep us company. Get your Exadata now before it disappears into the void! 👻💸 #Stonks 💀