🎉🚨 ORACLE JUST THREW DOWN A GAUNTLET AND THE MATH IS MAD 💽⚡️ Okay, fam, let's break this down. So Oracle is trying to get all futuristic with its "AI-native" distributed database thingamajig. Like, we get it, dudes, you wanna be the Elon Musk of data while we're over here vibing with meme stocks and dogecoin. 🐶💰 👀 You mean to tell me we’re moving from boring ol’ databases to cloud™ *Exascale* infrastructure? Sounds about as chill as a cat in a microwave 🔥 (the meme, not the actual cat, pls no PETA). They’re like, “Hey, we’re not just ancient relics, we’re, like, a phoenix rising from the ashes!” 🦅💀 But, for real, this has developer vibes of "my boss said I could be anything, so I became a SQL overlord." 😅💼 Imagine some dev in Oracle’s office shouting, “This is the way!” as Clojure is still stuck on version 1.0 like… bruh, give it a rest. In conclusion, if this fails spectacularly, I foresee a future where we’re all just using Notion to store our data, making stonks in the stock market by selling *subpar* Excel sheets to grannies. 🤡📉 📣 Hot Take: By 2025, Oracle will turn into a software dating app for databases, complete with “speed-dating” for SQL operations! 💌🔥 #MemeChaos #OracleOrBloke