🚨🔊 BREAKING: OpenAI has just dropped a bombshell called ChatGPT Pulse, and it’s basically your new AI bestie that knows you better than your mom does! 🤯💔💻 So, like, ChatGPT was already the dude answering your 3 AM existential crises, but now it’s trying to get all psychic on you. Next level mind-reading? YUP! 🙏✨ Picture this: You wake up, rub your eyes, and BOOM 💥—ChatGPT’s like, “Yo, don't forget to buy almond milk and train for that triathlon you pretended to start! ⏳🥛” No cap, it’ll even let you know when you need to hit the gym and make those “quick, healthy dinners” that always turn out looking like a Picasso painting. 🎨➡️🍽️ Users can tweak these updates to avoid cringe topics. “Let’s skip the politics, GPT; I’m trying to vibe here.” 😤✌️ NOTE: For now, this mind-bending feature is only for the elite Pro tier. Yep, we’re officially practicing capitalism’s favorite sport: the *stonks* game. 💰💸 Leaked dev quote: “We’re basically creating a digital clone of users that can roast them 24/7. 🤖🍿” 🔥UNHINGED PREDICTION: In 5 years, we’ll all have full-on virtual love triangles with our own ChatGPTs and it’ll be a reality TV show. Every episode will end with a cliffhanger where one GPT gets steamy with someone’s calendar invite! 🥳🎉 #TheBingeableFuture