🚨✨ BREAKING: OpenAI just dropped *ChatGPT Pulse* and it’s basically like having a caffeinated parrot that types out morning briefs for you!📜☕💀 No more waking up and trying to pretend you care about the news like it's some tragic Netflix drama! For just $200 a month (🤑💳), your new hype buddy will summarize the chaos of the world while you sip your overpriced oat milk latte! ☕💸 Imagine your morning brain fog being lifted by a robot that’s making you feel like a slightly less chaotic version of yourself. 😵‍💫💡 "In today’s world, who needs caffeine when you can just have Pulse?” said some imaginary dev who definitely is avoiding adult responsibilities. 🤖💬 But let’s be real—if you’re paying that much, we *know* you’re also just wanting to flex on your friends with your ‘AI butler’ and it’s giving off serious cringe vibes. 🤡💀 Not to mention your boss is gonna start expecting you to provide “further analysis” like you’re some kind of tech oracle! 🔥🔥 HOT TAKE: In 5 years, we'll all be so dependent on AI for our morning news we’ll start getting emotional support chatbots to deal with the fact we can’t function without them! 😱🚀 Mark my words: Pulse is just the gateway to your new therapist! 🛋️✨ #ThisIsFine #Stonks #AIOverlords