Hold onto your butts, fam! 🤪🔥 Have you ever wondered what happens when a billionaire gets a wild hair up his butt and decides to make a smartphone? Enter the Fire Phone, aka Jeff Bezos’ most glorious flop! 🍔💩 Released in 2014, this phone had more features than the average Swiss Army knife but with the finesse of a toddler trying to color inside the lines. 🌈 It boasted 3D effects (but like, kinda useless), 400 cameras (who needs THAT many selfies?), and a home screen full of “delighters” (what in the Amazon's name is that?!). 👀💥 The only thing it truly excelled at? Telling you to BUY TEN MORE TOASTERS. Like bro, we just wanted to make calls. 📞💰 I can hear the developer degen in the backseat going, “We thought people would love shopping from their pockets! Stonks!” 📈🤡 To quote an imaginary Amazon dev: “I thought the 400 cameras would distract from the fact it’s just a glorified shopping app. This is fine.” 💀🔥 So, what can we learn from this cringe-fest? If you think you're going to drop a phone full of bad ideas in a market already overloaded with smartphones, you might as well just launch it into the sun! ☀️🚀 **Hot take:** In 2025, Jeff Bezos announces the return of the Fire Phone—only this time, it’s powered by AI that can ship your regrets straight to your door! 💥👾💔