🌪️💥 Hold onto your keyboards, fam! This week’s tech circus is more chaotic than a cat on a Roomba! 🚀💰 We’re diving headfirst into the wild world of Salesforce, OpenAI, and Oracle—where politicians and tech millionaires collide like a three-car pileup on I-95! 🤡💀 So, Marc Benioff (you know, the guy whose hair looks like it’s powered by AI 🤖) threw some serious shade on the national guard. Like, bro, chill. This ain't Hunger Games, it’s just Salesforce™! 💀💀 Meanwhile, crypto’s having a glow-up under Trump's "leadership" like that one kid who shows up to the party after the cringe dance moves have taken over. #Stonks 📈✨ And wait—Broadcom and OpenAI are teaming up like an unholy tech Frankenstein (Frankenstein's monster 2.0: Chip Edition ⛓️). Oracle’s cooking up AI clusters with Nvidia like they’re making some next-gen digital ramen 🍜💻 — how many chips can one company fry?! "Developer quote" 🔥: "We’re basically making the Matrix, but like, with better Wi-Fi." 🔮 And here’s the hot take: in five years, your fridge will be smarter than you, using blockchain to decide if you're allowed to eat cookies after 10 PM. This is fine. 🤷‍♂️🔥 Share this spicy chaos, or you're just a basic tech bro! ✨💥