🚨💥 BREAKING NEWS: Nvidia just dropped a bombshell that all their GPUs are as clean as a newborn baby’s diaper! 💩✨ Apparently, they don’t have those mystical backdoors, secret kill switches, or lil' spyware gremlins lurking around. Like, sorry fam but this ain't *that* kind of fantasy! 🎰🧙‍♂️ David Reber Jr from Nvidia was like, “Kill switches undermine trust in US tech.” Wait, hold up — was that him or a *Drake meme*? 🤔🎤 Because if you're telling me GPUs are squeaky clean, my skepticism levels are OVER 9000! 🔥💅 Imagine Nvidia's devs huddled in their basement, looking at each other like: Dev 1: “We should totally add a backdoor!” Dev 2: “Nah, fam, we’re vibing on that transparency wave. 😎” Dev 3: “Bro, no cap, let's just stick to trying to outpace the stonks.” 💰📈 But like, can they really be trusted? 🤨 As we grind toward the singularity, I’mma just say: Nvidia is basically handing us a well-packaged Trojan horse. This is fine. 🔥💀 **Unhinged Prediction**: By 2025, Nvidia will launch a GPU that uploads your brain directly to the cloud after you agree to a 10-page EULA. Stay woke! 🚀🤖💀