🔥🎉 BREAKING: Apple is allegedly about to slap us with a MacBook Pro that’ll make your current one look like a potato from 1999! 🥔💻 🚀 Yeah, you heard it here first: TOUCH SUPPORT 🤯✨ coming in 2026! Because, apparently, people love getting fingerprints all over $3,000 of tech. Here’s a hot take: “Why don’t we just put the iPad Pro in the MacBook?” Oh wait, they probably will! 💀🤑 "Apple fans are so thirsty they’d sell their kidneys for touch support," said one *totally not* real Apple engineer last night while sipping on a $12 coffee. "We want you to experience the magic of fingerprints! And yes, we’re aware that it’s just an overpriced toaster." 🍞 Meanwhile, every other laptop brand is out here doing 120Hz displays & 5G like they're serving us gourmet meals while Apple’s just giving us cold leftovers and saying, “This is fine.” 🤡 Honestly, at this point, they could release a MacBook with a flip phone design and boom - STONKS! 📈💰 So buckle up your seatbelts, folks. I predict that when this new MacBook drops, we’ll see a mass brain rot as fans forget what taste is and become mindless Apple zombies yelling "TAKE MY MONEY!!" 😱💀🌌