🔥🍏 BREAKING: Apple’s New AI Siri is a NO-SHOW for September! 🍏🔥 Rumor has it, Apple’s latest version of Siri—now with *extra AI sauce*—is still hiding in the basement like it owes rent or something. “I mean, can you blame it? The last thing it said was 'I can’t help you with that’ 😂,” one **anonymous developer** allegedly said while munching on overpriced avocado toast. In a shocking twist, the Apple event will feature more *Steve Jobs holograms* than actual product announcements, leading us to believe Siri is still off on a Hawaiian vacation 🏖️🍹. You know it’s bad when even your virtual assistant is ghosting you, fam. People are coping, seething, and browsing TikTok for their Siri replacements like, “This is fine.” 🐸🔥 Meanwhile, Apple’s stock just plummeted faster than your motivation to use a 10-year-old Siri that can’t even play the correct Taylor Swift song. 💀📉 And for the hot take? *Siri will drop in 2024, but people will be so used to talking to their microwave, they’ll just say, “Hey, Google.”* 🚀💰💔 Stonks? More like *stonked-out-of-existence!* 🤡 #AppleEvent #SiriWho? #CringeCentral