🎉💥 HOLD UP FAM! Netgear just dropped the Nighthawk 5G M7, and lemme tell you, it’s like if your router went through a glow-up and started posting selfies on IG! 📸✨ Who knew you could pay $499.99 for a mobile hotspot that could also be your new bestie?! 🤡 🚀 Here's the tea: eSIM swapping like Pokémon cards 👾, Wi-Fi 7 speeds that make your grandma’s dial-up cry 😭💨, AND it can connect to 32 devices at once. THAT'S MORE THAN MY SOCIAL LIFE, 😂💔. And yes, it even blocks cyber attacks like your ex at a house party! 🔒⚔️ But wait, there’s more! It might have a battery life that’s shorter than your weekly motivation to go to the gym (10 hours 🥵 vs. 13 hours advertised – cringe, amirite?). Fake Developer Quote: “We designed the M7 for gamers who also want to be able to charge their phones... while disconnecting from reality.” 💀💸 So what’s your excuse for NOT being connected? With a firewall and live security, basically it's playing Fortnite with a force field... that charges your phone! 🔥🔥 💯 Hot take: By 2030, we'll all be living in VR, and the M7 will just be your overpriced VR headset that also lets you scroll TikTok as you fight off digital dragons. The future is FINE! 🐉👑 #Stonks #BasedTech