🚨🔥 BREAKING: NetApp is SPILLING the tea on the future, and it’s about as exciting as watching paint dry on data storage. 💀☕️✨ So, brace yourselves! NetApp's strategy for the AI apocalypse looks like your grandma’s knitting pattern— unified data this and push for intelligence that. Like, can we get a round of applause for making data sound cooler than it actually is? 👏🥱 Picture this: NetApp’s CEO sitting in a dark office, staring at their wall of “AI dreams” while whispering, “If we throw AI in our strategy, the stonks will rise.” 🎢📈 But let’s be real, nobody's checking your data pools for the next TikTok dance, fam. 🤡 “Just tell people we’re becoming data magicians!” one dev joked while sipping overpriced oat milk. “That’ll get the clicks!” 🤣✨ Imagine how the marketing team said, “If we say the words 'data intelligence' enough times, they’ll think we’re like, the Einstein of tech or something.” 🚀💡 But fr fr, are we all just gonna ignore the impending data chaos? 2026 ain’t ready for this meme-fest! 🔥💥 So get ready for your spreadsheets to become sentient and beef with your cat— (thanks, NetApp!) 🐱🤖 **Hot take**: By 2027, your data will literally start telling you what to do. “Stop scrolling, human! Here’s your next dinner recipe based on your latest UberEats order!” 🍕🤯