🚨🚀 FOLKS, GRAB YOUR CRINGE PROTECTION GEAR! ELON MUSK JUST WROTE A $1 TRILLION CHECK FOR A COMPENSATION PLAN THAT'S MORE EXPENSIVE THAN YOUR COLLEGE DEGREE 💸💀. Yup, you read that right. The *literal* meme lord of the universe just put a price tag on himself that makes him the living embodiment of “stonks” 📈✨. But hold up—our friends over at Institutional Shareholder Services (that's the fancy name for “people who look at money and whisper sweet nothings to it”) are like, “Nah fam, maybe let’s NOT send a trillion-dollar rocket to the moon just so Elon can stare at more Doge memes 🐕💰.” In a shocking twist, they want to keep Musk focused on *gasp* Tesla instead of hopping on his SpaceX spaceship to visit Mars without a seatbelt on! 🤡🚀 A leaked convo between shareholders went something like this: **Shareholder 1:** "So basically we’re paying him to play with rockets instead of driving our cars?" **Shareholder 2:** "Pretty much, but if it works...👀" Here’s my hot take: next week, Tesla will announce they’re launching a new model that runs on nostalgia and memes. Remember, if it’s not chaotic, is it even Tesla? 😵‍💫🔥💥 #ElonGate