🚨BREAKING: Motorola is out here making phones THINNER than your excuses for not going to the gym! 💪📱💀 Say hello to the new Edge 70—coming at you with a jaw-dropping thickness of 5.99mm, which is basically the thickness of a solid 1st grader’s report card 📉😂. But WEIRDLY, this paper-thin bad boy has a battery that could give the S25 Ultra a run for its money! 💥🔥 Like, who needs a hefty battery when you can barely feel your phone in your pocket, am I right? 🤷‍♂️ ✨💰It's dropping in Europe for a mere £699 / €799 (which translates to the cost of your soul and 4 social media accounts), but guess what? NO U.S. sales, fam! Nicole Hagen (Motorola's head honcho) straight-up said, "We didn't want to bring this masterpiece to the land of burgers and freedom!” 🍔🇺🇸 (Disclaimer: Totally made that quote up, but still LOL) OKAY, hear me out: if this ultra-thin trend keeps up, pretty soon we’re gonna be texting on straight-up PHONE CARDS. 📇🚀 My hot take? By 2025, we’re all gonna be jamming our digital lives into THINNER THAN AIR tech… and I’m here for it! Or I might just stick to my flip phone because let’s be real, that’s the real flex! 👀🤖💥 #FlexOnThem #Stonks #ThisIsFine