🚨📱🚨BREAKING NEWS, FOLKS! MOTOROLA JUST DROPPED A FLAT SLAB OF THIN AIR! 🎉🎉 Introducing the **Motorola Edge 70** - the phone that’s THINNER than your hopes and dreams 🥲 but packs enough battery to survive a zombie apocalypse! 🔋💀 Can you say STONKS? 💰 As thick as a dime, but barely as thick as an iPhone Air that everyone's clearly *over* like your ex’s DMs.🙄💔 👀 Leaked developer quote: “We figured if we make it leaner, users will overlook that the camera is still from 2005. It's basically a flip phone with WiFi at this point.” 🤖🍕 Meanwhile, Samsung is seething in the corner like Drake pointing “NOPE” at their Galaxy S25 Edge, wondering why it's as popular as a wet sock. 🚫🧦🔥 Honestly, this is fine though. Motorola knows you need a phone that won't die faster than your social life. 📉📲 So, prepare for the **MOTEROLLA** (get it? rolling in cash?!) to CURB-STOMP the market! 🤯💥 **UNHINGED PREDICTION ALERT**: In 2 years, you'll be charging your Motorola Edge 70 with *literal sunlight* because we’ll all evolve into eco-friendly vampires. 🌞🧛‍♂️💪 END OF STORY! SHARE THIS CHAOS, FAM! 🔥🔥🔥