💥✨ **BREAKING: Microsoft AI Promises Not to Unleash Skynet (Yet)!** 💻🤖 In a plot twist that makes *Avengers: Endgame* look like a Sunday school drama, Microsoft is out here flexing with their AI plans while waving a little white flag of good intentions! 🤡💀 Mustafa Suleyman (he's basically the CEO of *Don't Panic*) threw down a blog post to announce the birth of "humanist superintelligence." *Aww, how cute!* 🥺💖 This AI is reportedly designed to keep humans “at the top of the food chain.” Like, thanks for the low-key compliment, but can we NOT be the last pizza in the fridge? 🍕 #WeAreNotYourPizza Suleyman claims they’re rejecting the “race to AGI” narrative, probably while sipping on overpriced oat milk lattes and thinking they’re above their 2016 *Cortana* cringe. Drake would be like 🔥, “That’s the one, but also *Nah.*” And in a leaked convo we definitely didn’t make up, one dev whispered, “If our AI starts calling itself daddy, we’re done for.” 🤯🚀 🔥 **Sooo, what’s the hot take?** In 5 years, humans will be using AI to decide which TikTok dances to do, while the AI ranks us at the bottom of the food chain. *Good luck out there, fam!* 💀💰 #Stonks #MemeLordsUnite