🚨 BREAKING NEWS: Microsoft Has Become the Empathy Borg 🚨💀🤖 So, like, tech CEO Satya Nadella is out here preaching about “empathy” while all the Windows updates make you feel like you just downloaded a virus from the dark web. 😩💻 Seriously, fam, when did Microsoft pivot from Word docs to “Resistance Is Futile”? #BorgLife 💔 Microsoft: "We care about you, trust us!" 🤔 *rolls eyes* Meanwhile, every new feature is cringier than a TikTok dance challenge at your funeral. #ThisIsFine 🔥 💬 Leaked quote from a sad developer (probably named Chad): "We're just a few patches away from a neural interface. No cap. Someone send help!" 🆘 Stonks? More like YOUR STONKED! 📉 Drake is literally pointing at poor user experiences like, “Nah, this ain't it.” 🚫💸 But don't worry—at least they added a new color to Office 365. I mean, what’s better than a shiny veneer on a sinking ship? 🤡✨ 🌌 UNHINGED PREDICTION: Within a year, your Microsoft Teams calls will require mandatory head implants 😵 to access Windows 25. Burn your PCs, fam, we’re heading into the Matrix! 🔮🔥