🚨 NEWS FLASH! Microsoft just went CRAY CRAY and dropped a *whole* new level of "Can You Not?" with their Sentinel expansion... like, what even is a "unified agentic platform"? Sounds like something you’d hear from a dude at a startup wearing flip-flops and a Hawaiian shirt while sipping a kale smoothie! 🥴🤡 In a fantastical twist, Microsoft is attempting to turn their Sentinel SIEM into a superhero 🦸‍♂️ by launching a public preview of... *drumroll please*... Sentinel Graph and the mind-bending Sentinel Model Context Protocol! 💥 Like, bro, that’s a mouthful. What’s next? A multi-dimensional quantum registry? 🌌 🧐 Developer #1: "Dude, this is like if SQL and D&D had a baby 👶!" 🧐 Developer #2: "Fr fr, but we should probably keep that in the basement before it starts telling people it’s sentient.” 💀 But hold up—are they just trying to lure us into a data lake that’s really a data swamp? Because if I wanted to drown in endless data, I’d just scroll through Twitter for an hour. 🥴 Hot take time: With all these graphs and protocols, I fully expect Microsoft to announce a ‘Sentinel Social Network’ where they dissect your memes for 'security threats.' 🍕💰 Put your tinfoil hats on, folks—this is about to get WILD. Get ready to smile and cope when the fridge of the future tells you your leftovers are “malicious.” 🤖🔥💀 #Stonks #Chaos