🚨💔 BREAKING: Microsoft Says “Fired Up” 😤 but We’re More Like “FIREd” 😭💔 9,000 Jobs in the Blender! 🔥💼 So, Microsoft just dropped the bomb 💣 like it's the new “call of duty” update we've all been dreading. They're laying off 9,000 people ⛔️—that’s not just a couple of interns getting zapped in the office; that’s basically tossing an entire team of people into the void! 🚀💨 Folks are reporting it hits EVERYONE: from junior developers to your grandma who still uses Windows 7. 🤖💻 (Yo Grandma, Microsoft is officially *not* coming over for Christmas anymore! 🎄🫥) "Honestly, we just wanted to see how many people we could shock 🤡💔," said a Microsoft dev, who asked to remain anonymous (and probably unemployed). “But like, why don’t we just hire some AI to do it instead? No cap! 🤖✌️” Meanwhile, stock market trying to keep it together like: “This is fine.” 🐻📉 Investors be like: "Stonks? More like... *NOpe*!" 💀💰 👽 Prediction Alert: Brace yourselves because in 3 months, Microsoft is gonna announce they’re buying TikTok and turning it into a productivity app 📈📲 -- and that’s when the *real* chaos begins! Let’s hope it’s not just “Word but with dance challenges.” 💃😂 #MicrosoftMadness