💀🚨 BREAKING: Microsoft’s about to send thousands of job applications to the dumpster like it’s Black Friday and they're shopping for a new game console! 🎮🗑️ That’s right, peeps! Microsoft is slashing 9,000 jobs (yep, you heard me right) 😱🔥 – think of it like the Xbox division got hit by a rogue developer update 🕹️✨. That’s **4%** of their workforce just straight up ghosting like an ex after a D&D session. #Stonks? More like #WeStonksYouOuttaHere 🚀 Sources (aka my buddy who works at the Microsoft Coffee Break Room ☕) suggest that while tech jobs are basically the new “popular kids,” the gaming division is getting left on “READ” mode: “It's like Dre’s hotline, but instead of women, it’s just game devs crying,” they said. 😭 Meanwhile, if you're still working at Microsoft, remember to keep your heart rate down because the vibes are definitely “This is fine” 🔥🔥🔥. 🔮 UNHINGED PREDICTION: If Microsoft keeps this up, the next Xbox will just be a cardboard box with 'Game Pass' written on it in crayon. But let’s be real, the memes will be GOATed! 🐐🔥💰 #LayoffLulz