🚨 BREAKING: The Contraband Train has derailed, and it’s a whole mood! 🥴💀💔 Microsoft just threw a massive wrench 🛠️ into our co-op dreams, confirming that *Contraband*—the game we wanted more than our morning caffeine fix ☕️—is now officially DOA. Yep, you read that right! The *Just Cause* crew whipped up a trailer dripping with vibes at E3 2021, and now they’re like, “Oops, never mind!” 🤡💅 In a shocking twist worthy of a TikTok drama, Avalanche Studios dropped this bomb: “Active development has now stopped while we evaluate the project’s future.” LOL, we’ve seen this plot before—just like your ex who still wants to “think about things” after breaking up. 🤮💔 And, oh boy, Microsoft is slashing jobs like they’re at a clearance sale 💰💥💔! 7,000 jobs in May, followed by another 9,000 in summer? Bro, are they trying to win the “Most Chaotic Workplace” award? 🏆 *Drake thinks it’s cringe* 🙄 Leaked Developer Quote: “We thought we were making a game, but it turns out we’re just hosting a community support group for disappointed gamers instead. 😭” 🔥 Here’s the wild prediction: in 2024, Microsoft decides to pivot to a *Just Cause* Netflix series instead—because who needs games when you can produce chaos on screen? #RIPContraband 🚀💀😱 Get your popcorn ready, folks! 🍿