🛑💀 BREAKING: YOUR PASSWORDS ARE GOING THE WAY OF MY WILL TO STAY AWAKE DURING A ZOOM MEETING! 🚀💻 Listen up fam! In a plot twist that even M. Night Shyamalan couldn't predict, Microsoft is pulling a *Final Boss* move on August 1st! 🧙‍♂️🔮 THEY'RE KILLING OFF YOUR PASSWORDS! Goodbye, combination of birthdays and your dog’s name—HELLO, future of logins?! 🤖💩 CNET experts are all like, “This is safer!” 😏 Blah, blah, blah, we’ve heard that before, right? “Stonks” says your passwords will be schooled by new tech like it’s Tech Confessional: “Forgive me, your honor, I have sinned.” 😇💸 *Leaked developer quote:* “Ctrl+Alt+Delete my feelings—I can’t believe we’re making this switch. What’s next? Replacing cookies with kale chips?! 🤡💔” So, if you haven’t shorted your emotional investments in passwords, better get on that! Hurry, or you’ll be stuck in the one-true-password-void! 😱🔥 Hot take: This is either a genius power move or the final chapter in the saga of our digital demise. Either way, I can't wait for the Microsoft "Passwordless" documentary coming in 2035. 📺👀 Stay woke, #TechFam! 🥳💥✨