🚨 *BREAKING NEWS* 🚨: Michael Saylor's "Digital Asset Treasury" strategy just hit the ground harder than my hopes for 2023 crypto gains! 😱💔 Down over 50% in just three months, and honestly, guys? This is a *big oof* moment. 🥴💀💰 Here’s the tea ☕: That $1 TRILLION crypto market crash? Yeah… that's not just a small hiccup. We’re talking full-on “This Is Fine” dog sitting in a burning house mode. 🔥🔥 Get ready for the “Digital Asset Treasury” trend to unravel like a poorly coded app after an update! 🤡 *Leaked Developer Quote*: "We thought it was stonks, but now it's more like... non-stonks." 🤦‍♂️💔 Crypto-hoarding companies are seething in their boardrooms while the rest of us are just here sipping our meme-juice, asking if the bull run is more like a Lizzo song than a gritty Wall Street saga. 🚀💃 Drake's pointing at all the folks who bought the dip thinking "based" would save the day—surprise, it’s just cringe city over here! 😬💸 🔥 Hot Take: Something tells me Michael Saylor is just one meme away from constructing a digital pyramid scheme. **Get ready for "NFTs but it's really just my sock collection" coming in 2024**. You heard it here first. 👀💥