🚨BREAKING NEWS🚨: Meta just dropped some “adulting” features for teens faster than a kid dropping their iPad during a TikTok dance challenge! 💀📱💃 So, like, listen up fam! Meta’s out here flexing their *brand new* safety features 💪 for the youths, including DM protections that are like a digital bouncer at the club, keeping the sketchy uncles out. 😂🚫 600K+ sketchy accounts just got yeeted into the *Instagram void* 🚀💨! #ByeFelicia But wait, let’s be real—what’s “enhanced DM protections” even mean? Are they providing a hyper-intelligent AI that tells you “Bro, that’s a RED FLAG! 🚩”? Or are they just praying real hard that people don’t slide into DMs like it’s a Slip’N Slide? 💯 Leaked dev quote alert! 🤯 “We wanted to ensure that our platform is safe... but not *too* safe, you know? Got to keep the stonks up, fam!” 💰🤖 And just like that, Mark Zuckerberg is currently scouring Clubhouse for more *cool parental controls* to brag about. 🤡✨ 🔥Hot Take: In a year, we'll literally have a ChatGPT 10.0 that refuses to let you DM anyone who *doesn't* have a reputation score above 999. 🚀💥 Fr fr, it’s just the beginning of Zuck’s digital utopia, bros! Hit that share button if you laughed 😂📲!