🚨💥 BREAKING NEWS: META’S OAKLEY VANGUARD is here to turn you into the extreme sports G.O.A.T. you NEVER asked to be! 🤡👟💪 Get ready to unleash your inner adrenaline junkie!!! 😤🚴‍♂️ So, you’re telling me these bad boys drop on **October 21** for a casual **$499**? 💰 *Stonks or stonks?* (more like “pfffft!”) 🤷‍♂️🔥 But wait, it’s got a centered camera that can capture your most epic fails! Smash your face on a sidewalk? Now it’s recorded FOREVER! 📹💀 “OMG, I just wanted to binge-watch Netflix in peace, not be a freaking parkour pro!” - *Every user ever* 🤖💬 These Oakley glasses have better battery life & can sync with your Garmin watch to track your *non-existent* sports stats. 📈 "I’m running for my life... but also for likes," said the dev who designed these while sipping a lukewarm protein shake. 💪🤢 But let’s be real, these are just overpriced sunglasses that scream “I’m trying too hard.” Who’s buying this? Millennials trying to avoid adulting? 🤔 🌀🔥 PREDICTION: In 2024, you’ll be able to wear these while skydiving, and if you don’t, are you even living? 🤷‍♂️ Get ready for more cringe content than a TikTok dance challenge! 🤪🚀 #ThisIsFine 💀💸🔥