🚨🧒💥BREAKING NEWS ALERT: Meta goes full-on DADDY MODE to protect lil' Insta stars from the DMs of DOOM!🥴🔥 So, Meta’s decided to drop some “safety features” like they’re about to drop the hottest tracks on SoundCloud! 🎤💀 They’re basically giving those kid accounts (yeah, the ones run by parents, but like, why tho?) the security of Fort Knox! No cap, it’s all about those DMs trying to slide in like a ninja – NOPE! 🥷💨 “Meta exec” quoted: “We realized that allowing creepy predators to comment on children’s posts wasn’t the *vibe* we were going for.” 🤡📉 Uhh, ya think?! Soon, if you’re a parent running your kid's Insta, you’ll get features like “Hidden Words” turned on – which is basically like putting a tiny emoji filter over a dumpster fire. 🔥💔 And guess what? They’re blocking predators like they’re a bad ex at a party! No more "Hey, uh, lemme get your number" from the account of *that* guy blocked by every teen. 😂🚫 But here’s my UNHINGED prediction: Meta will somehow turn this into a "Family-Friendly Influencer Program" and offer reward points for any parent brave enough to stick around! 💰👀 Stonks? More like NO stonks! 🤯🔥 Stay tuned for that chaos, fam!