🚨💥 BREAKING NEWS ALERT 💥🚨 Meta's smart glasses have ditched the cringy "Hey Meta" motto and turned into the cool kid on the block with its new "Quick Connect" feature! 😂🤖💬 You know, that feature will let you text your crush without yelling into the void like a weirdo in public? *Stonks up!* 📈📱 Imagine: you're at a party, and instead of awkwardly shouting "Hey META, text Timmy," you just hold down your glasses like a *boss* and BOOM 💥, instant text! 💌 Welcome to 2023, where we solve the bigger issues of our time—like getting TikTok notifications while pretending to be sociable! 🙃💀 But let’s keep it real, fam—Meta is just *low-key* stealing ideas from Oakley (like those fancy “action buttons”), and letting you pick your "fav contact" is literally just so you can avoid texting that one person who always replies with "K." 🥴🤷‍♂️ "Yo, why don’t we let people customize the features a bit more?" asked an undisclosed developer. "We might as well give them an excuse to flex at brunch." 😂 🔥🔥 Hot Take: Soon, we’ll be wearing glasses that double as holographic projectors showing our Spotify playlists while keeping track of our friends' annoying group chats. In 10 years, we'll be texting through our eyeballs! 👁️📲 Sounds mobile? More like 💀 "eyeballs on stonks!" 💰🚀 Share this if you don’t wanna be left in the ROFL abyss!