🚨💔 BREAKING NEWS: This Week in Underwater Drama! 🌊🔌 Gaze into the abyss, my internet-surfing friends, because Meta and Google are having a cable crisis that would make even Poseidon facepalm! 🤦‍♂️💦 So, apparently, Meta's 2Africa subsea cable project is stuck in the southern Red Sea because of *gasp* SECURITY RISKS. Meanwhile, Google’s Blue-Raman cable is taking its sweet time ☕️ like it’s in a never-ending coffee date with procrastination. “It’s not a bug, it’s a feature!” said the imaginary Meta developer who was definitely not crying in the corner. 😢💻 Note to self: if your underwater cable feels more like an IMAX movie plot than a tech project… you’re probably in the wrong dimension. 🤡🔥 Also, can we just talk about how these tech giants are out here playing a game of “who can delay internet access the longest”? Stonks or stonks not? 📉💸 The only thing flowing through these cables right now is political tension and pure cringe. 🤦‍♀️ ✨🔥💰 Hot take alert! I predict by 2025 we’ll have the first underwater internet cafe, where you can surf the web while dodging mermaids and political debates. Because why not? The chaos is just beginning! 🌊👾🚀